How most many people have been making me feel lately…..pretty much. I have been feeling extremely unwanted, useless, feel that I’m being uncaring, not a good friend, that I don’t look out for those I love and that I’m unable to enjoy my own happiness once in awhile. In fact I have been stretching myself to be there for all my friends and for my family. I’m getting tired of people kicking me and treating me like I’m a cruel person when all I ever do is try to look out for those I love and care about. How I try so hard to be there for everyone….but honestly it is exhausting me. I am so busy putting everyone before me that I am not doing anything for myself. The one time I try to do something to make me happy it angers all the people I care about it. I just don’t understand….why can’t I be happy too. Why doesn’t anyone ask me how I am too once in awhile. I want to be happy with my boyfriend but how can I when my friends won’t give him a chance to prove he is a good guy. Why can’t my family just stop fighting about everything that goes wrong and try blaming it on me or my little sister. I’m tired of feeling like I’m not a good friend, when I push myself to make share others are happy before me, but I’m tired of being off on the back burner….I want my turn. I want to be happy too. Why can’t my friends accept this, why can’t I be happy for once. Why can’t I just forget about all the problems I lock away for once. I just want to enjoy life with my friends, my family and my boyfriend. Why can’t everyone just let me have this one thing. I don’t ask for much….so please just stop ignoring me, making me feel like crap all the time, or feel the need to hid. I just want everyone to be happy, but most of all I want a little happiness for myself too.
Thanks hun. *huggles too*
REBLOG IF IT IS OKAY TO COME INTO YOUR INBOX AND SAY THE RANDOMEST SHIT I CAN THINK OF BECAUSE I REALLY WANT TO INTERACT WITH YOU.
been feeling kind of paranoid lately
Take that time by yourself to get to know yourself and rediscover what makes you shine. Don’t surrender yourself to waiting, and don’t stay isolated for too long, because there’s a beautiful you the world is dying to meet.
comics that end sadly but wind up being replied to with love are what I live for
I really should do this more often myself. I should just remember what makes me well me and never let it go. As if I’m not being myself I feel I will lose my color, I like who I am and I should always remember that it is always okay to be myself even when others don’t like me for me. As if I wasn’t myself no one would notice the true me and thus I’d be colorless instead of lovely beautiful vibrant shade of Orange….I love orange, I’d figure that would be more color I produce when around others as I feel it is a very cheerful and kind and caring color.
It’s time to D-d-d-d-d-d-d-duel!!
0 w 0 OMGOSH I WANT THIS BUNNY!! WE WILL PLAY ENDLESS CHILDREN’S CARD GAMES!!!!
I dearly wish that people would view their bodies as they view flowers…
Skin patches? Birthmarks?
Scars? Stretch marks?
Freckles? Moles? Acne scars?
Missing a few pieces?
handsome as ever~
Feel like you just look weird?
you’re fantastic looking~
THIS is the best post ever.
I never thought of that….I’ll never look at myself the same, I’ll just imagine I’m a fudging amazing flower from now on! Look out world I’m strutting the streets with my amazing flower power~
So now when you do Alt + Reblog, the reblog symbol turns green, “explodes” and then disappears.
I THOUGHT THIS WAS KIDDING SOGMLASG
((Fuck, I’m on mobile))
If you your on mobile you can just hold the reblog button down
My Parents are Dead and My Sister is Disabled »
On May 28th, my sister, Edna, turned 31.
Her mental age is about three years old. She loves Winnie the Pooh, Beauty & the Beast, and Sesame Street. Even though the below picture is unconvincing.
Edna and “Cookie.” I think she was trying to play it cool.
My name is Jeanie. I’m Edna’s younger sister. I’m also her guardian and caregiver.
That’s me on the left. (Hey, you never know. After a year of writing a blog about online dating - Jeanie Does the Internet - I’ve come to learn that there are A LOT of fools on the internet.)
ANYWAY, I’m not “doing the internet” anymore. I’m taking care of Edna full-time, after completing my MFA in Writing for Screen & Television at USC.
May 16, 2014. I wanted a picture. Edna wanted breakfast.
In case you’re wondering where our parents are, they’re dead. Our mom died of breast cancer when she was just 33.
Us with mom before she died. (Obviously.)
As for our dad, he peaced-out around the time my mom got sick. His loss - we’re awesome.
Here we are being awesome at the beach. Pushing a wheelchair in the sand? Not so awesome.
In case you’re wondering “What’s wrong?” with my sister - as a stranger once asked me on the street - NOTHING. Yes, Edna has a rare form of epilepsy - Lennox-Gastaut syndrome - but I don’t know if that’s anymore “wrong” than people who don’t have manners.
Basically, Edna was born “normal,” and started having seizures as a baby. They eventually got so bad that they cut off the oxygen to her brain, causing her to be mentally disabled. Or impaired. Or intellectually disabled. Or whatever you want to call it - except “retarded,” because in 2010, President Obama signed Rosa’s Law into effect, replacing that word with “intellectually impaired.”
Which is cool and all, but services for the disabled and the people who care for them are SEVERELY LACKING. Also, there’s a bunch of people working in taxpayer-funded positions who are supposed to help families like us, but don’t. (Big surprise, I know.) They just fill out paperwork (whenever they feel like it) with asinine statements like this:
YUP. I transport my sister down the stairs in her wheelchair, because that is not only safe, but TOTALLY PRACTICAL. Why doesn’t everyone in a wheelchair just take the stairs, for God’s sake? Stop being so lazy, PEOPLE WITHOUT WORKING LEGS!
But, as it says above, Edna’s legs do work. Whether or not she wants them to, is another story.
Edna refusing to go inside.
These are the stairs that I have to carry her up - by myself - on a daily basis. That is, until one of my legs break and both of us are just sitting at the bottom of the stairs, helpless.
For six months, I have begged - BEGGED - the State of California to help my sister, which they are required by law - The Lanterman Act specifically - to do so. But they’ve told me “these things take time” and that I “need to amend my expectations.” (That was said to me when I refused to place Edna at AN ALL-MALE CARE FACILITY. Because yes, that was an “option” that was offered to me.)
Prior to Edna moving in with me in my one-bedroom apartment, she was living with her amazing caregiver, Gaby, back in Tucson, where we went to high school and I did my undergrad. Edna’s reppin’ the Wildcats below.
But back in November, Gaby also died from breast cancer. (FUCK YOU, BREAST CANCER!) This picture was taken a month before she died. She never even told me she was sick because she didn’t want me to worry.
By the way, we were raised by our grandma. Edna and her were very close.
She’s dead, too. Surprise.
She died when I was 20 and Edna was 21. That’s when I became Edna’s legal guardian and Gaby stepped into the picture to help me out with Edna.
So, six months ago, after Gaby died, I moved Edna to California, where I tried to get the folks over at The Frank D. Lanterman Regional Center to help me. I’ve told them I’m worried about our safety - that one of us could get hurt on the stairs - I’ve told them I can’t afford to pay the private babysitters $15/hour because the ones social services sent me who make $9/hour were unreliable (they didn’t show up on time or at all so I could get to school and work), untrustworthy (one of them let Edna go to the bathroom in the kitchen and then took her into the bathroom because “that what I thought I was supposed to do.”)
But the people over at the FLRC don’t return my calls, they don’t file the paperwork on time - and the first caseworker that was assigned to us actually LAUGHED AT my sister when he came to our home to evaluate her. When I reported him to his supervisor, she told me, “That’s just [insert name of said jackass].”
He was one of the two caseworkers that contributed to the report I mentioned above, which also included this:
So let me get this straight - I have to feed, bathe, dress and help Edna in the bathroom and you can’t deduce whether or not she is able to vote? What in the fuck?!
Now I realize I seem angry. And you can bet your balls I am. I’m also sad. Sad for those who don’t have family to stick up from them and who waste away God knows where, monitored by no one. Or monitored by people who physically and sexually assault them.
I’m also sad for the caregivers who are SO EXHAUSTED - trying to take care of their loved ones - while also trying to take care of themselves and battling a system that is supposed to help, but does nothing of the sort. And I know a lot of people give up. They let their dreams, their marriages, their friendships slide. All while trying not to resent the very person you’re doing it all for.
Edna wanted to sit next to me the other day while I was writing. Clearly, she’s not impressed.
Here’s the thing: I REFUSE TO GIVE UP. I’M NOT GIVING UP ON HER OR MYSELF. I’m going to pursue my dreams while taking care of her, AND while ensuring that the people paid to do their jobs ACTUALLY do them.
That’s where you come in. I need you to help me get my story out there. Because I know I’m not alone in this. I want to connect with families who are in similar situations and also show people who have no idea what it’s like to care for someone with a disability (or even a loved one who is sick) that it can be rewarding. Super fucking hard. Exhausting. Painful. Isolating. But, rewarding.
I’m going to get help for my sister - and others. My hope is that by sharing our story, I can bring awareness to the lack of services and help for the disabled.
This made me cry
STOP SCROLLING. THIS PERSON ISN’T ASKING FOR MONEY AND THIS POST WON’T MAKE YOU SAD.
This is a really uplifting and inspirational story of a family sticking by each other and making things work despite a whole lot of shit
They just want to find other people in the same position they are, for a sense of community and to feel like they aren’t alone.
I know out of all of you, some of you have followers who are living with and taking care of intellectually or emotionally disabled family members, and this lovely and unbreakable pair of sisters need to find them.
(Source: , via renegadeofthesands)
Aww stop it!! You are making it hard not to go rush off and get myself a bunny ; ^ ;
these are the kinds of prompts i live for
It’s like Rapunzel status but instead of hair a fudging long coat. Seto, seto, let down your amazing coat so we can climb up to battle city.